If you’re a shy or reserved person, you’re not likely to be the first one to raise your hand during a group meeting. You might even find it challenging to speak up during a one-on-one meeting with your boss. However, just because you aren’t readily volunteering your opinion out loud doesn’t mean you don’t have anything important to say.
For a bit of guidance, we asked the members of Forbes Coaches Council how shy or quiet team members can contribute to the conversation. Their best tips are below.
1. Get In The Right Mindset
Get clear on your objective and deeper intention before attending a meeting and speaking. Your objective may be as simple as sharing one point about a project. Your deeper intention is the emotion you’d like to experience, such as confidence. When you’re sure about your objective and intention, your energy shifts. You move forward with ease, communicate more clearly and enjoy sharing with others. – Rosie Guagliardo, InnerBrilliance Coaching
2. Gain Comfort With Visualization Exercises
Shyness doesn’t have to derail career success. A great exercise to overcome this fear is to practice visualization. Find 15 minutes a day to close your eyes and envision an encounter in vivid detail, with your words and body language being received positively. Our brains can’t tell the difference between real and imaginary, so you will build confidence repeatedly seeing yourself be successful. – Laura DeCarlo, Career Directors International
3. Ask For The Meeting Agenda In Advance
Ask the meeting coordinator to share the agenda in advance so you can have the appropriate processing time to contemplate your responses and your input. As you listen to the louder voices in the room, you will still have to muster up the courage to speak your mind, but take your time, speak clearly and know that once you flex that muscle it becomes easier and your team will be the better for it. – Debbie Ince, Executive Talent Finders, Inc
4. Prepare Your Talking Points
Believing that you have something important to say is half the battle because this belief feeds your courage and propels you forward. Ask for the agenda in advance and pick one topic that you can confidently discuss. Tell the meeting leader that you have thoughts to share that the team will find useful. Ask the leader to call on you when it’s time. Write down your points and practice to prepare. – Loren Margolis, Training & Leadership Success LLC
5. Communicate In Writing
Employees who tend to be introverts (or shy) would benefit from practicing. Speak up during meetings when the issue is not so controversial or crucial. This will help them warm up and prepare for the priority-level discussions that are often met with slight pushback or debates. In the meantime, writing a well-written professional email to a supervisor to share a significant opinion is acceptable. – Rosa Vargas, Authentic Resume Branding & Career Coaching
6. Volunteer To Be The Scribe
If you get to author the summary of the meeting for bosses and co-workers, you help organize thoughts and will get feedback about your writing. What a powerful way to enter the discussion quietly but overtly. Don’t underestimate the scribe’s power in human history. Make history yourself at work by being the reliable note taker and you will find that your quiet voice has taken a powerful tenor. – John M. O’Connor, Career Pro Inc.
7. Listen With Both Ears
Being shy or reserved when almost everyone around you likes to hear themselves talk can be a daunting challenge for quiet employees. It is often the quiet ones who discover hidden gems by listening with both ears. Active listening can reveal insights and patterns that others miss. To make yourself heard, share your insights with upper management directly rather than getting lost in the noise. – Lillian Gregory, The Institute for Human and Leadership Excellence
8. Ask More Questions
For shy, introverted employees, asking more questions in the meetings can be a great start. This is an excellent way to start practicing speaking up in meetings as it does not put you on the spot directly in the way that expressing your opinion explicitly would. Asking thoughtful questions can boost your reputation, as it indicates your level of knowledge in a more subtle manner. – Marina Cvetkovic, The Peak Alliance
9. Share Your Ideas Before Or After The Meeting
Read an agenda and send your ideas before a meeting to a host or the participants as a startup for a discussion “just to save time.” However, some topics just emerge during a meeting. Take notes on what others say and add your ideas. Ask a host if it is OK to send some ideas if you come up with them after a meeting. Usually, it is. Send them to all the participants. – Inga Bielińska, Inga Bielinska Coaching Consulting Mentoring
10. Suggest Rounding
A rule of engagement for meetings that help everyone feel heard is to implement timed rounding. The leader of the meeting presents the agenda item and then says something like, “Let’s go around the table and each person give their input for about one minute so we can get everyone’s perspective.” This helps introverts learn that their comments and thoughts don’t have to be in perfect form. – Lynda Foster, Cortex Leadership Consulting
11. Ask A Colleague For Help
If you know about the topic before the meeting but don’t want to share during the meeting, share your ideas with a colleague that can share them for you and help you support them during the group conversation. This person could present these ideas as yours or as something you created together depending on your comfort level and how you want to approach the discussion of your idea in the meeting. – Steffan Surdek, Pyxis Cultures
12. Anticipate Questions
For people who tend to be more reserved in group settings, often the most difficult situations occur when they are caught off guard and have to think on their feet. Preparing for meetings in advance by studying the agenda, considering the perspective of the other attendees, and anticipating how they might respond at the moment can help shy employees prepare to respond at the moment. – Molly Walsh, Standout Consulting
13. Start Small
Start out small with your contribution efforts. Even restarting the obvious to start is a way to get on the meeting dance floor and start contributing. This is a safe way to initially engage. When you get more confident and want to fully engage just remember the three Bs, “Be Brief, Be Brilliant, Be Gone,” and you will never go wrong. You soon may just find they will start seeking you out for advice! – Kevin Leonard, Emerald Bay Performance
14. Embrace Discomfort
I encourage my shy or introverted coaching clients to flex their assertiveness. While their natural style is to process internally and gather context from the flow of a discussion, there is a time to flex their natural listening preference to speaking and asserting their thoughts and opinions. Some feel discomfort in doing so, but missing an opportunity is equally regrettable and frustrating. – Evan Roth, Roth Consultancy International, LLC.
15. Let People Know How You Like To Communicate
Let team members know that you may be quiet but have ideas to share. Let them know that you may need time to reflect before speaking. Approach your colleagues and boss individually to tell them that as an introvert it helps to be asked for your point of view and occasionally to share your ideas later. Use these strategies as a bridge to push yourself to build confidence and take greater risks. – Christine Allen, Ph.D, Insight Business Works
As Seen On Forbes Coaches Council –
Debbie Kassebaum-Ince
Founder & President of Executive Talent Finders
